Andrew and Christina Sawyer never imagined life this way. But God, who plans all things perfectly, deemed it right and good. So, they’re saying yes to taking the sum total of life experience and using it to improve the welfare of the community.

After meeting in college, Andrew and Christina married in 2004 and settled into life in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina. Andrew worked for various government agencies as a public affairs officer. Christina molded young minds as an early education teacher for transitional kindergartners at a nearby preschool.

Foster Care and Adoption Journey

In the late 2000’s, the Lord introduced them to foster care when a niece entered care in the western part of the state. For about a year, the Sawyers followed the case, working to gain custody if reunification was not permitted.  While she was eventually reunified, the experience allowed the Sawyers to meet and befriend the foster family, a normal suburban couple that opened their home.

This inspired the Sawyers to become foster parents. In 2012, they welcomed two brothers into their home. Just a year later, their adoption was complete and the Sawyers were a family of four. While the known biological history was incomplete, there were signs that mental illness would be a factor in this newly formed family.

Back then, trauma-informed care was an emerging practice and managing behaviors rather than treating traumatic experience was the norm. An early crisis led them to finding real therapeutic help and a second confirmed that behavioral health challenges would become an ongoing life challenge.

With ongoing outpatient therapy, the Sawyers enjoyed a normal life, with very few days dedicated to dealing with the worst effects of trauma. Eventually two more children entered the mix. And, as common to similar families, in one day everything changed.

Mental Health Journey

April 30, 2019 began as normal. But by the end of the day a major mental health crisis ensued. A day that began ordinary ended with a psychiatric admission, a whirlwind of emotions and a future that suddenly became very complicated and unclear.

Over the coming weeks, the family entered an exhausting cycle of hospital, home and crisis. Normal activities halted. Calling 911, hospital visits and requesting emergency childcare replaced things like going to the park or pool. Cleaning up and repairing damage to the home was a frequent task.

Experiencing Stigmas

With a physical ailment, even a severe one, there’s a public camaraderie shared among parents, friends, family and society at large. One mention of a major medical diagnosis brings compassion, sympathetic nods and tales of hope and encouragement.

Families like the Sawyers’ who are in the headwinds of repeated child mental health crises face questions about their parenting skills, the slow distancing of friends and family and hesitancy to share any details of the struggles. In our society, we’re taught to “hide our crazy” with hushed tones. There’s a severe disconnect between a mental health struggle and a medical health challenge.

Facing Obstacles

The Sawyers experienced the same surprise and obstacles that families throughout our country face when navigating their child’s psychiatric health. “A broken system” may be a oft-repeated and somewhat trite phrase, but it is entirely accurate. With a medical diagnosis, the whole system of care works together to bring stability, if not healing, to the patient. Emergency services, hospitals, insurance companies and outpatient providers work nearly seamlessly to ensure patient care.

Months into this new journey and the Sawyers experienced that this isn’t how it works in mental health. Underfunded, understaffed and under-resourced are apt words to describe what the Sawyers found in the mental health system. To be more exact, there are arbitrary hurdles to prompt care, medical hospital staff not knowing what to do with mental health emergencies and long waits for care.

Families like the Sawyers who face back-to-back-to-back crises often experience a never-ending cycle of short stability, crisis and treatment. With Medicaid as their insurance, the Sawyers found a need for their child to fail out of “lesser” services, often repeatedly, in order for insurance to pay for a “higher” level of care.

A Personal Toll

In addition to the distancing of friends, who feared the children were “dangerous” or the Sawyers themselves were prompting the issues through poor parenting or abuse, there were other impacts. The stress and exhaustion of constant emergency response, constant emergency babysitting and caring for the other children is the major impact.

Every time the cycle revolves, the Sawyers, and families like them, experience property damage and physical aggression. Constantly traveling to hospitals across the state, eating meals out, purchasing hotel rooms and other expenses can quickly drain bank accounts. Also, after emergency upon emergency, the ability for an employer to extend grace can become exhausted as well. This was the case for Andrew.

Sustained Hope

The calm in the storm came from a strong faith and a sympathetic community of care within their church and circles of friends. Pastors and staff jumped in the ditches, spending nights in emergency rooms and on the couches in their homes. Others in their community rushed to bring meals, clean up shattered glass, overturned furniture and even worse things after massive outbursts. Others gave financial support and still others an ear to listen and a voice to prayer.  It is a gift not all families experience.

Serving Others

Today, the story continues. The newborn has become a bustling preschooler, permanently theirs via guardianship with hopes of adoption on the horizon. The foster child is still considered part of the family in their hearts, but his behaviors were too complex considering the high needs of the oldest two children. He is now with a different family better suited for his unique needs. The two older boys, now teens, are living away from home in residential treatment for healing, safety and preparation for adult independence.

Over the past year, the Sawyers have connected to many families also in the world of mental health challenges for the first time. Every week, they’re praying for, advising, commiserating with and providing practical support for families finding the same challenges and barriers. From these interactions, a deep desire was born to do more to ensure parents and thereby all of our children will have better resources and more support than today.   

Supporting parents. Advocating for the best care possible. Reducing hurdles. Seeking equitable state-of-the-art facilities. Ensuring those caring for our children are well-trained. This is becoming our life’s calling. This is how Sustaining Hope for High Impact Parents is imagined.